In the light of recent events, I've discovered something. It is much easier to have Christian faith and practice it when it is not being tested under stress. I have enough faith in Christ to say that "no, I do not want that bright, shiny thing" but when it comes to something that I see as incredibly important/wonderful and that I am more than willing to throw anyone that gets in my way under a bus for... well, then the answer does not come as quickly now does it? I have crossed certain lines and chosen to engage in sin all because I see what I want and nothing is going to stop me from getting it. This puts the 'thing' (or person rather) in a place of more importance than Jesus... not a good thing. I do not know how to justify this cut-throat, tenacious way of thinking with my faith and (ideally) still get the girl.
Everyone sins, I know Jesus was the atonement for all my sins, past, present and future. We live in a messy, broken world and have to operate within it... it's all well and good to speak of ideals but that is not the world. Pragmatic... you go through the day and deal with what has to be dealt with hoping that at the end of it all you end up not as dirty as you could have been, that there is still some shred of faith somewhere deep inside, pristine.
I want to find a Scriptural reference to "the ends justify the means" and I'm pretty sure that it's not there.
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My 'Christian Walk' is more of a disoriented stumble.
2 comments:
Funny post... I'll just write an email, too much for a comment. Other than to let you know that I read it. :)
I'm leaving you a comment. Does that make you feel all happy inside or what??
Just to say...this is the point of the whole thing...the struggle...doing the right thing when you'd rather do the selfish thing. The key word is sacrifice. It really sucks mostly. lol!
In the end, being closer to Him, is better than being close to other people. Of course...it would be nice to always feel closer to Him, and one doesn't always feel that feeling. I could say a lot, but I won't right now. Just wanted to comment.
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