"Now the purpose of the commandment is love from a pure heart, from a good conscience, and from sincere faith."

The marine air rolls into my windows from Elliott Bay with increasing regularity now. As the calendar (although not quite the low ‘80’s daily highs) heralds the ending of Summer, I look forward to Fall as most ‘normal’ people seem to dread it. With thoughts of hockey games and the comforting envelopness of sweaters, my peacoat(!) and anything at all made of wool fills me with giddy expectedness.

On Mars Hill:

I just finished reading my pastor’s newest book ‘Confessions of a Reformission Rev.: Hard lessons from an emerging missional church.’ I finally picked it up after my friend Amanda generously loaned it to me just yesterday and since my Sunday has been spent doing laundry and recovering from the previous day’s Endfest 15 festivities and sunburn; and not going to church like a good boy, I felt it proper that I should at least spend a good part of the day studying and reflecting.
Mark’s book is focused on the mechanics of the growth of the church to its current 4,000 member level. and looking ahead to the 10,000 mark. My immediate question after finishing it is to wonder where I might fit in the continued growth. This question is rather timely as in the last month or so I’ve been wrestling with a few issues that have caused me to back off a bit on my commitment to Mars Hill. These issues are, in brief; 1. My continued struggles with ‘singleness’ that falls into both idolatry of marriage and sexual sin. 2. My hesitation with being baptized in the church and 3. The issue of ‘glossolalia’ or ‘xenoglossolalia’.
A little personal history. I was not raised in the church, faith was sporadically introduced to me growing up until my ‘conversion experience’ at twenty-two after which I was hardheaded enough not to come to terms with it for another seven years. Near the end of this term I attended several liberal Presbyterian churches, encountering some aspects that I dearly loved but never feeling that it was a place that I ‘belonged’. Until I stumbled across Mars Hill. Although it is many things that I always avoided (Mega church, non-traditional worship) it is everything that I believe that I need (biblical teaching, reinforcement of gender roles, accountability and Man’s general ‘suckiness’). For the first time and continually in my year of attendance, it has been a place where I’ve grown beyond measure in my ‘walk with the Lord’ and have even learned how to talk like an evangelical and mention Jesus in casual conversation.
The situation is thus: the church is large and continues to grow, calling for more involvement from it’s members to succeed and yet because of some (hopefully) minor theological issues and dealing with my own sin I feel unprepared and not wholly worthy to assume the role that seems to be needed and heed the call that I believe that I hear. Additionally with my having been pushed into the deep-end of the pool of apologetics I also find myself somewhat out of sync with those that I would prefer to help in carrying the load. Disagreeing with church leadership and with people that so obviously have a love for Jesus deeply troubles me. I have no wish to be decisive but whether I state it or not a wedge has been planted. Hopefully only a temporary one and the question still remains; “Where do I fit in as the continued growth of Mars Hill and glorification of Jesus and the Gospel in Seattle is concerned?”

Geek

"Ride now...ride now..ride. Ride for ruin and the world's ending."

To which race of Middle Earth do you belong?

Rohirrim
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I never pass up an opportunity to geek out, especially if it's to Tolkein.

The Ever Changing Continuity of Things

Our small and modest (i.e. ghetto) office is having a bit of turnover at the moment; some have left/leaving whilst new positions are being added. But it is rather comforting to have the replacment for Debra, our dispatcher/phone person (and one that very much reminds me of my mother) be apparently so much like her. The comfort lies in the click-clack of high-heeled shoes upon tile and a general mode of dress that signify that this woman is comfortable with 'not lifting the heavy loads' running contrary to the concept that is so in vogue these days with women. I'd like to know at what point the 'Modern Woman' fully accepted the mindset that to be a 'Strong Woman' she had to become a man and do 'manly' things. It would be all too easy to wag my accusatory finger at the recent history of radical leftist feminism but perhaps the movement to 'de-feminize' has been not merely a 'push' or 'advancement' but rather a response to a 'lack' or deficency in the traditional male role. (i.e. Man has abandoned certain essential duties/roles leaving Woman to pick up the slack and hence become The Man.) Perhaps the issue of divorce/single parent families would be a good example of this. I'm clueless as to what the root cause of such a dramatic shift in culture would by chance be but I'm sure someone needs Jesus somewhere in it all.

EndFest 15

What does a little girl see when she stares at an empty stage? 

Frustration

The week has started on a note that makes me of the opinion that "bullet in the head" sounds like a relaxing course of action. I wouldn't recommend leaving for work on a Monday morning and finding your car towed for being illegally parked. And the rest of the day followed that pattern to the point that I expected to show up to work and my job not be there or have a family member die. Neither of which has happened... yet.

And now, just for the hell of it, I think I will devote any spare time to looking around for a new job. I like my job except when it comes to dealing with my 'internal customers' at the store level who fall into two general categories; firstly, those that only work at your neighborhood supermarket* (Quality Food Centres) because they are somewhat unqualified for more 'dynamic' employment at the McDonald's next door and secondly, those store managers that have their little hearts set on becoming a VP someday and are very focused on trying to catch the eye of those higher on the food chain than themselves.

Having individuals from either of these groups then go so far as to helpfully 'suggest' how I may better serve them as the A+ numba' One person that they are wears painfully upon my patience and eventually my sanity.

'Nuff said. Venting is done.

Love: Music

I was listening to this playlist and realized just how music can transport one to a particular place/time/mood. It's like one of those "soundtrack of our lives" moments, and I'm somewhat bemused to think it's all British music. Just another reason for my 'American card' to be revoked... That is all.

http://www.napster.com/nweb/features/playlist/playlist.html?mix_pl=MIX_66746