Why Blog?

At this point in the life of the Internet, everyone has a blog of some sort. Frankly I’m not sure why, the vast majority of people are just not that interesting.
Sometimes I blog just to get a monkey off my back; ideas or feelings that crash about in my head and need to be released before they damage something up there. Sometimes I blog to let people really know what is going on with me. I enjoy being a private person and I am not about to have the self-importance to think that my problems (if I do indeed have any) are unique.
But I’ve recently had the desire to be known by others. Call it a degree of loneliness or just the reluctant realization that I might actually need other people. My primary interest in keeping a blog is simply to write. I want to become better at it and the best way to do so is to practice it. That and also reading blogs of others that can actually write. Wil Wheaton has very much been my inspiration in this way. He writes very personally about common things and stories of his past quite well. And although I disagree with his politics and quite frankly my eyes glaze over when he writes about poker; he has had two books published to date, which seems a decent indicator of success. I admire him very much in his way of peeling away the distance between writer and reader and making it all very personal.
This is not my diary; nor is it a confessional but if being either of those I somehow manage to put more pixels on screen, then it has served its purpose.

The Hardest Part

In the light of recent events, I've discovered something. It is much easier to have Christian faith and practice it when it is not being tested under stress. I have enough faith in Christ to say that "no, I do not want that bright, shiny thing" but when it comes to something that I see as incredibly important/wonderful and that I am more than willing to throw anyone that gets in my way under a bus for... well, then the answer does not come as quickly now does it? I have crossed certain lines and chosen to engage in sin all because I see what I want and nothing is going to stop me from getting it. This puts the 'thing' (or person rather) in a place of more importance than Jesus... not a good thing. I do not know how to justify this cut-throat, tenacious way of thinking with my faith and (ideally) still get the girl.

Everyone sins, I know Jesus was the atonement for all my sins, past, present and future. We live in a messy, broken world and have to operate within it... it's all well and good to speak of ideals but that is not the world. Pragmatic... you go through the day and deal with what has to be dealt with hoping that at the end of it all you end up not as dirty as you could have been, that there is still some shred of faith somewhere deep inside, pristine.

I want to find a Scriptural reference to "the ends justify the means" and I'm pretty sure that it's not there.

Point Of Personal Preference

What do I have to do to get comments on my blog posts, cure the blind???? Quite a few e-mails and phone calls though... thank you everyone for putting up with the Jane Austen novel that is my life. Although personally I'm trying to move it into F. Scott Fritzgerald 'Great Gatsby' territory minus accidental death.